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Tuesday 30 April 2013

Chasing the lightning

I'm going to be a little self indulgent in this post.  I say that somewhat tongue in cheek given this whole blog is one bit self indulgence but hey, it's the internet so deal with it.

For those of you that don't know, I've been tinkering with 3D art for almost 7 years now.  I do look back at the first pieces I did, so pleased with myself for creating something visual rather than with words, which is somewhat ironic given here I am once again creating something with words.  And like when you are learning to write, those early pieces really do show just how little I knew.  But I stuck at it, playing around with ideas, trying new things, loading up scenes and moving stuff round to see how it changed.  I joined deviant Art (dA) not long after I started and almost 7 years later I'm still there.  I've posted things on other sites over that time, but dA I guess has always been my spiritual home in that regard and the one that I've been consistent with.  It's also where I've made some great contacts and friends as I've striven to become a better artist, asking questions, being active in various groups and watching other artists, learning from what they have done and what they have to say.

A couple of years ago, I submitted a few of my images to the online gallery for 3D Artist magazine, a monthly publication out of the UK.  The magazine had only been around for about 12 months or so at that stage.  I got a couple of comments on my pieces in the gallery along with a few views, but nothing earth shattering.  Not until the day I got an email from the magazine editor asking if I'd like to submit one of my images for inclusion in the upcoming issue.  To put it mildly, I was blown away.  I'd had good comments at dA on my work before, even won a contest in one of the groups there, but this was something different.  This was a magazine editor, and he was asking me if I'd like to have my piece in their magazine.  A magazine that was printed, on paper no less.  Of course I said yes, I'd love to, and emailed them the .jpg and then waited.

That's probably one of the worst parts of living down here in Australia, the waiting for things to get here.  We were roughly 2 issues behind the rest of the world with this magazine as well as 3D World which I also used to buy.  So I waited.  I saw it released in the UK, released in the US, and still I waited.  Finally I got a call from the news agent who used to stock it letting me know that the issue I was waiting for was in.  I think I pretty much ran to the shop (it was a block from where I worked) and purchased my copy.  I knew my piece was going to be included in the readers gallery, so I flipped pages until I found it.  And boy did I get a shock.  Not only was it in the readers gallery, but it was in there as the Image of the Month for that issue.

I'm fairly certain I had gravel rash on my chin by the time I got back to the office as I think my jaw just kept hitting the ground, but to be honest, it's a bit of a blur.  All I could focus on for the rest of the day was that my picture was in this magazine, and the editors had picked it as the Image of the Month.  To say I was over the moon is an understatement, and when I think about it now, it still trips me out.  It was so unexpected, the whole thing, but it made me start to think that maybe, just maybe, I might actually be ok at this digital art thing.  And in all honesty, in my opinion, it is a bloody good piece.  I had it printed up as a block mounted poster (the kind you see in the art and framing shops) and it hangs on the wall of my office at work.



This all happened in 2010, which was a great year in that respect.  So I kept tinkering, kept rendering, kept on trying new things and learning with each step.  Over this time I guess I started to second guess myself a bit, that maybe my "success" was a fluke, one of those lightning strike moments when everything comes together and then you spend the rest of your life chasing the lightning, hoping it will happen again.


I've noticed that as time went on, I wasn't as prolific in my output as I had been.  This registered, but I didn't really think anything of it, just mentally shrugged and moved on.  To put it into perspective, in 2010 I averaged 1 piece a week.  In 2011 I averaged just under 1 piece a week, no really big difference there.  In 2012, my output went to roughly 1 image every 2 weeks.  And 2013?  Well, so far, I'm averaging roughly 1 image a month.  The reason for this I think is that because I know more, understand more about what I'm doing, this has translated into more complex pieces, more depth, more life, dare I say it, more lighting?

Funny thing about chasing the lightning, if that's your goal, to get that lightning strike moment, then it's a long a frustrating chase.  But once you let go of that, go back to doing what you like to do, use the tools you've learnt, either through study or trial and error, you start to find that it strikes on it's own, and it strikes more often and in ways that you may not have considered.  And it struck recently for me in a way that I had never entertained.

There are a number of people around who actively seek commission work, offering their services to the paying public.  I had considered this back in 2010 when I'd just been published, but dismissed the idea at the time as something that maybe I'd do later on "when I was good enough".  Skip forward to the start April 2013, when I got some comments on a piece I'd done.  A dA member asked if I'd be interested in doing a piece for them.  I hadn't anything on the go at the time so I said sure, tell me what you want and I'll see what we can do.  Turned out he was a World of Warcraft player who had just quit after 5 years and wanted a piece of his Bloodelf Rogue as a way to remember his time in the game.  I can understand how he felt given I'd played Dark Age of Camelot for about the same period of time along with a number of other MMO's since, and silly as it sounds but you do get attached in a way to these characters that you play in that virtual world.  I'd never played WoW but with the description he gave me of his character I said I'd work something up for him to have a look at and if he was happy we'd move on from there.

I'd never been commissioned before where payment was involved, and I had no idea what to charge, but in the end we came to an agreement on price and how it would work, which I'll use again in future commissions.  Work progressed with the client approving things at the critical points.  It took about a month but when the piece was completed and I emailed him to let him know.  To say he was happy with the final image would be an understatement, but the thing that really made it for me, was him asking if I'd be available in the future to do work for him again.  That was the lightning strike!  Right then, I stopped second guessing myself for the first time about my ability for probably 2 years.  Sure, I'll probably start doing again at some point, but that's ok, because that's part of what spurred me on to become a better artist the first time.   Right now though, I'm confident in my artistic ability, I'm confident I can do this, that I can get better at it, and more importantly, that I will.

Well, that's enough self indulgence for now.  But remember this, always remember this...
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur!